Here lies your deceit - We were tired of being swindled

Here are the RULES:

Death and taxes. None of us can escape either and while you can’t do anything about paying taxes, nothing says you have to trust your relatives to write your exit speech — your obituary.

A traditional obituary is no longer than 208 words and has a photo of you at the top. Sometimes this is a photo of you in your younger days and other times it is current, depending on how you want to be remembered. This time, you get to pick. To make this #letsblogoff a bit more challenging, we’re asking that you stick with the word limit of 208 for your obituary. You can write less if you want.

And if you really have more to say on the way out than can fit into 208 words, write another blog post and link back to your obituary.

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Since this topic was released to the Letsblogoff community last week, I've considered various approaches to take with this post. Some ideas, such as falling into a vat of (gasp) non-eco friendly paint, transforming into a sustainability vigilante were both sarcastic and slapstick. I also contemplated writing my obituary as if my time were to come to an end today, but for obvious reasons, that failed to stoke my desire to write. I finally settled on writing the obituary that would sum up a long-lived, fulfilling life. But once I'd written it, I deemed it too personal to post here, so I scratched that idea (but if you're interested, you'll be able to read it on my personal blog Life as an Experiment tomorrow). Ultimately, I couldn't bring myself to write about my own death or the death of Eco-Protective Products, so I chose to write about the death that would do our industry a favor. 

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Atlanta, GA January 4, 2011 

Late last night, huddled in the back corner of the Starbucks, angered homeowners surrounded and killed the tactic of overpromising and under delivering from painting contractors and manufacturers. 

Until last night, over exaggerated claims had withstood years of attempted exposure from honest paint companies who had tirelessly worked to overcome the ill will created by the industry’s snake-oil salesmen.

False promising reached its height during the early 2000’s when wild claims were easily disseminated via the internet but rarely verified or backed with substantive evidence. More so, any business, regardless of ethics, with a website and charming sales staff was seen as credible. 

Crime scene reporters describe the outrage as palpable. “Never paint again”, “no prep work required”, “lifetime guarantee”, and “50% reduction in power bills” were just some of the grievances that could be overheard standing near the angry mob. An elderly man, who was barely able to maintain his composure, recounts high-pressure sales tactics used by a company that swindled him into paying a premium rate for underperforming paint on the exterior of his home. 

Misleading advertising in the paint industry had long been under pressure, and finally, thanks to the collaboration of a few concerned citizens, it seems this deception has been put to rest. – End 207 words

• Never Paint Again Eco-Protective Products offers many high quality interior and exterior paints, and while our paints are made with high-quality resins and premium raw materials enabling them to last 2 to 3 times longer than competitive paints, we do not guarantee lifetime performance. Paint, like any other man-made material, is subject to degradation from Mother Nature including climatic elements, Ultra Violet light, and various critters (for interior spaces that includes pets and children). 
• No Prep Required Cue goosebumps and raised hair when you hear this. No matter how high performance a paint may be, if the prep work isn't properly performed, expect peeling or flaking paint as a result. For both interior and exterior applications, the surface must be clean and free from dirt, grease, scale, efflorescence, mildew, fungus, loose impediments and all other surface contaminants. Pressure washing, sandblasting, sanding, scraping or any other manner, which thoroughly cleans the surface and removes is recommended.  Additionally, seems and areas around windows should be caulked to prevent airflow. 
• 50% Energy Savings Sound too good to be true? Well then it probably is. I can't tell you the number of times I've overheard salesmen at conferences and home shows exaggerate claims of energy savings from paint. Eco-Protective Products manufactures a very high-performance Cool Roof Coating (Eco-Cool Roof 5000) but even in best case scenarios, it may produce ~30% energy savings at best resulting from lower cooling loads placed on HVAC systems. Consider that the roof is a much larger heat sink than a home's exterior siding, and it puts 50% energy saving paint in a very clear perspective. EPP's Platinum Exterior 1000 achieves ~8% Energy Savings for use on exterior stucco, siding, and other exterior substrates.  

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